Difficult Relationships

One of the places I've passed through many times in my cyber-wandering is the advice-column of Rod E Smith, a true gentleman who gives of his time and wisdom to help those navigating the turbulent waters of human relationships.

Rod's latest thoughts include these "times" when relationships suffer:

1. When being right (correct, moral, accurate) is so important, so insisted upon, that it is at the expense of being loving. A healthy person can sacrifice his or her need to be right in order to love.
2. When anxiety and love are confused. “I am anxious about you” is a far cry from “I love you” and are not the same thing. Anxious people often believe true love necessitates worry. “How will he know I love him if I don’t worry about him?” is the plea of the anxious partner or parent. A healthy person remains non-anxious.
3. When love and control are synonymous. “If you love me you will dress (speak, think, see, hear) according to my will,” says the controller, “or I will question your love for
   me.” Healthy love celebrates freedom.
4. When love means “melting” into each other, giving up individual identity in the name of love. “We’re so close we even think each other’s thoughts,” proclaims the unhealthy couple. Healthy love elevates separateness, space and individuality.

Of Rod himself, we learn:

Rod Smith has taught family therapy and courses on related topics for various institutions, primarily The University of the Nations, in many locations around the world. He is an excellent resource person for all kinds of troubled or Difficult Relationships. Rod is also a writer. His “YOU AND ME” newspaper column is widely enjoyed in South Africa where it has been published daily for almost to 7 years...

Rod Smith has presented seminars and retreats to professionals and lay audiences in over 20 countries. He is the Executive Director of Open Hand, Inc. an initiative which provides home-based counseling services to individuals and families in Marion County by referral from the Juvenile Court, the Office of Family and Children, and Child Protection Services. Rod no longer sees clients referred through these state run systems.

Recently, Rod has addressed topics from readers such as

• My wife and best friend had an affair…..
• We’re engaged but she and her ex still lean on each other…
• Invasive sister-in-law….
• Children do not want to visit father and stepmother…
• He vents and his venting gets out of control…..
• When is it time to cut “friendship” ties?
• Why are some dads so passive?
• Seven things healthy parents know about teenagers…
• I want to end my affair…

Advice and ideas worthy of the reading...